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Groucho Marx Quotes

Found 156 quotes by Groucho Marx .
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Groucho Marx

"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot." Groucho Marx

Add Category or Author American Comedian    American Comedian Quotes    Editor's Pick    Funny    Love    Quote of the Day    Valentine's Day    Women   

Groucho Marx

"I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks." Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough." Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms." Groucho Marx

Add Category or Author American Comedian    American Comedian Quotes    Funny    Intelligence   

Groucho Marx

"Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough." Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception" Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women." Groucho Marx

Add Category or Author Leaders And Leadership    Leadership   

Groucho Marx

"I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are" Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty." Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." Groucho Marx

Add Category or Author American Comedian    American Comedian Quotes    Funny   

Groucho Marx

"A man's only as old as the woman he feels." Groucho Marx

Add Category or Author American Comedian    American Comedian Quotes    Funny    Short    Woman   

Groucho Marx

"There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked." Groucho Marx

Add Category or Author American Comedian    American Comedian Quotes    Funny    Man   

Groucho Marx

"Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!" Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again." Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke." Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." Groucho Marx

Add Category or Author American Comedian    American Comedian Quotes    Control    Funny   

Groucho Marx

"In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom." Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party" Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book." Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx

"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does" Groucho Marx

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